The boy had his first day at nursery today. I want him to go to nursery, its a nice, small, friendly nursery and we were really lucky to have been offered a place. He was ok, he didn’t love it, he didn’t run in shouting “bring it on” (as I secretly hoped but of course didn’t expect).
I was a total mess, I wept a little a first (I was going through his “red book” with his teacher – so many memories) then I moved on to sniveling into a tissue and then exploding in tears (this seemed to take the teacher back a bit, I think she was on my side up until then).
I do want him to go to nursery but I’ve been trying to pin point what it is I’m anxious about. I’m worried he’ll be forgotten about, accidentally or purposely ignored, spoken to needlessly harsh, not cared for in the way I care, not given the food he likes, not put on the toilet the way he knows how to, to be left fend for himself in anything. These are things that might not happen, but they might. They are small things that every child has to bear at some point and of course quickly recover from.
He can’t possibly function without me can he? I do want him to go to nursery (have I said that?)
I think I’m also worrying that perfect boy will be ruined and it will turn out that my lovely, sweety, honey is actually a sappy, mummy’s boy, weakling. Or my lovely, sweety, honey will learn to scratch, bite and spit from “Alfie” and the little boy I knew will be gone for ever.
Update – We went again today and it was fine!